In the second half of her life, Stephanie found her classic Hollywood romance. Now she attempts to understand the strange and confusing world of dating apps to help her niece - and the show's host Nichole - find her happily ever after.
The Secret Adventures of Black People is a podcast telling the stories of Black people holding it down across space and time. In the trailer you’ll hear a conversation between the show’s creator, Nichole Hill, and her Producer, Shonte Hill, about the show’s title, tone, and the stories Nichole plans to tell.
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Written and produced
Nichole Hill
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Shonte Hill
Story editing assistance
Talia Bender
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Stephanie Camolli
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Random
Excuse me are you married?
Me
Yes
Nichole
Hello and welcome to the Secret Adventures of Black People. I'm your host Nichole Hill.
Nichole
Also, not married.
Once upon a time, there lived a woman named my Aunt Stephanie.
One day, in her 40s she found herself heartbroken in sunny California and at a crossroads in life. She decided to move back to her small factory town in Maine and swear off love for good.
She's Black. I'm Black. There are Black people in Maine. It's fine. Okay.
Once there, she ran into the local carpenter named Eddie. Eddie fell in love with her on site. He tried everything he could think of to get her attention, but none of it worked. My aunt was not havening it.
Then one day, as legend has it, he built her an intricate oversized mirror. The most beautiful mirror in all the land for the most beautiful woman and my Aunt Stephanie's heart started to warm. Slowly they became friends. Then they fell in love, got married, settled in the Maine countryside and planted vegetables and raised chickens and lived happily ever after, the end.
That's a true story.
I visited Maine last fall and went for a drive into town. My aunt asked how my Hallmark movie was coming along.
I let her know it was looking a little different.
Nichole
Okay, so there's three apps that people use, I hate them all.
So, I have like a ton of likes here, but I'd have to pay to see them which I'm not gonna do.
Aunt Stephanie
You have to pay to see them.
I guess they have to make money somehow.
Nichole
Yeah. So…
Aunt Stephanie
Goodness gracious. What kind of world is this? What ever happened to people just saying, “Hello, how are you”
Nichole
No. This is the only way.
This guys says, “I’m looking for somebody I can't wait to see at the end of the day.”
You have to say stuff like that.
This one says, “I don't think you can get to know somebody on here until you meet up and see if the chemistry is there. I enjoy fishing, kayaking, visiting breweries sci-fi movies- “
What's wrong with that? What does that indicate?”
Aunt Stephanie
Visiting breweries. He likes to drink. Next.
Nichole
Okay, I don't even know how to pronounce his name. He’s a retired military grad students, watches Star Trek - you guys like Star Trek?
Aunt Stephanie
Yeah. Let's see his face. Uh huh.
Nichole
Michael, look at him?
Aunt Stephanie
No.
Nichole
He’s a firefighter, graphic designer, very outgoing, and they all put their heights.
Aunt Stephanie
No. He's all into body building and…
Nichole
He’s into body building?!?
Aunt Stephanie
So what exactly is rugby? It's like a form of soccer?
I’m sorry he just looks woolly.
But then you’re just judging people. These could be very nice people you know, you don't even know.
Nichole
This guy is into boats.
Aunt Stephanie
Do you like boats?
Nichole
I don't know. I’ve never been rich enough to have an opinion on boats.
Aunt Stephanie
We spent the whole afternoon on a boat. It's beautiful. It's gorgeous. It's like a whole different perspective. But I got sea sick. I wouldn't want to spend my time on a boat.
Nichole
Yeah, no, we don't want to bring him into the family. Too many boats.
And then you just do this forever.
Aunt Stephanie
You just keep going through these guys?
Nichole
Yep
Aunt Stephanie
I want to see what you like. Try to find somebody that you that might be interested in.
Nichole
I don't know. It’s so hard to pick on this thing. He's cute. Like, that's fine. I think he’s cute.
Aunt Stephanie
So do you mind, is color an issue for you?
Nichole
No, I don't care about that.
Aunt Stephanie
Oh, ok. Good.
Nichole
Like that's good picture but I know it's a trick, so that’s a no.
This guy’s holding an alligator. This is the Maine sight.
Aunt Stephanie
Get off the Maine site, what are you doing? Although, Eddie and I went to Belfast, and there was this guy there from Chicago. And he had these dreadlocks. I thought of you because he was really cute. He was very nice and very educated.
Nichole
Was he white with locks?
Aunt Stephanie
No, he was Black
Aunt Stephanie
He was very cute. Very well dressed, very educated, carried himself very well. Very well spoken. Very friendly.
Nichole
In the future, you can just give those guys my number.
Aunt Stephanie
Okay
Nichole
Just go ahead on and give it to them. We’re past dignity.
Aunt Stephanie
Okay. He said he was just out, he wanted to see what Maine was like and decided to take a trip.
Nichole
I’ll just start getting random calls and be like, yeah, it's fine.
Aunt Stephanie
I should have got the man’s number. Next time I will. I’ll say come here you. I have a niece.
Nichole
More and more people have been talking about wanting to come up to Maine.
Aunt Stephanie
That’s what he said, he just wanted to come see Maine.
Nichole
Special shout out for story editing assistance from the mad genius and my little sister Shonte Hill and the oracle my homie Talia Bender.
Thank you to the creators who add your music and sound effects to Epidemic sounds and Bluedotsessions. I truly couldn't have done it without you.
I'm Nichole Hill host and creator I wrote and produced this episode and there's more to come. You can follow me on Instagram at Secret Adventures of Black People for updates on new episodes.
And until then, you can support this incredible black adventurer I know named Tony Hillery and his organization Harlem Grown. The mission of Harlem Grown is to inspire young people to lead healthy and ambitious lives through mentorship and hands on education and urban farming, sustainability and nutrition. They’ve got the most beautiful urban farms you'll ever find in Manhattan, and Tony is the GOAT. That's Harlem Grown at Harlem Grown.org. They’re on the internet, check them out.
See you next time for more stories about black folks holding it down across space and time